Oh kid. š the messier the better I say. I donāt mind Arthur crawling on different floors. I donāt mind him getting messy from exploring. I donāt mind his hands getting dirty. Or his mouth being dirty from food. Weatabix dried in the hair, strawberries on the face, milk around his mouth. I like the sand in between his toes, the dirt on his fingers. Because heās exploring, heās learning, developing. The baby crisps come out of the hair, the sugar from sensory play will come off his fingers, the mud from the park all over his trousers will come out in the wash. The messier the better I say. š sometimes people say comments that make me feel bad thatās heās messy, that he has dirt on his clothes or food on his face. Sometimes I find myself saying things like āheās very messyā before they say anything because I can see them looking. Sometimes I do feel judged. But then I think, wait a sec? Heās eating! Heās playing! Heās having fun! I want him to do all those things! Stuff can be cleaned, his mucky chops can be wiped. Heās a baby. Heās a kid. Arth if you want to get messy then you get messy! ā¤ļø#love #messy #kid #baby #babyboy #ourboy #firstbaby #parenting #parenthood #motherhood #oharth #artie #thiskid #ourworld #getmessy #notthedrunkkindmessythough
So I wonāt pretend...I donāt have it all together. Iām not a boss at life at the moment. New job, money is low, Arthur at nursery, lots of change. Itās hard. And Iām tired. I miss my family, I donāt have many friends but those I do are far away. Iām trying to earn money, and start my career. I have all these plans, ideas and then I stop and think, Iām tired. Emotionally, physically, tired. I donāt want fancy cars, expensive holidays or a big wedding. Thatās just not me. I just want my own home. Somewhere I can call my own. Thatās my goal. But I am tired. I miss my baby when Iām at work. I feel guilty when Iām not with him, guilty that somebody else is looking after him. If I donāt think about him in a few hours I then feel bad because I feel like I forgot about him. I want to blog and in all honesty yeah one day I would love to have my pieces featured in magazines, Iād love to be at events talking about mental health. But Iām still tired. I also need to exercise, eat well, look after a pony, maintain a relationship and see my loved ones. But, you guessed it, Iām tired. I donāt know if this is my PND, I donāt know if I just need to breathe and give myself a bit of a break. But I do know one thing. Itās ok. As the tee says; itās ok. Itās ok to be tired. Itās ok to have PND. Itās ok to want things. Itās ok to not be bossing life. Itās ok to feel that Mum guilt. Itās ok if you do want fancy cars. Itās all bloody ok. I am so lucky. And I know I am. I have a wonderful son, partner, family and friends. I have a roof over my head. I have a job I enjoy. Itās ok. Everything is ok. I need to remember itās ok to feel like this. But everything is ok and I do need to stop and remember what I have got. āØ . Itās just ok. .
āØ #itsok #mentalhealth #pnd #anxiety #firsttimemum #blog #blogging #parenthood #wingingit #life #mentalhealthandme #mentalhealthawareness #breathe #lovethistee #smithandwebb #motherhood #feelingoverwhelmed #notbossingit #real #reality
