So something that I’ll never forget that was said to me on one of my darkest days. I was tired. Beyond physically tired, mentally I was tired of fighting. I was told and constantly encouraged that I was going to get through PND, I was going to be ok. I would smile and nod but on the inside I often thought I wasn’t going to make it. I thought I wasn’t going to be a positive, happy ending. One day at just the beginning of my journey one of the nurses at Nottingham said something to me I’ll never forget. She looked at me and said; “I know the days feel long, I know you feel like you will always feel unwell. But when you are better, and one day you will be, you will look back at this time of your life and see how this was such a small part of it. In comparison to the rest of your life this is such a short period of time. I know it feels long now, but it won’t always be like this, we all have bad times in our lives, but they don’t last forever. This won’t last forever.” I’ll never forget it. I can still remember where I was. How I was. I won’t forget it. .
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This is most definitely my #thegiftofthought
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#thegiftofthought
It’s sad isn’t it that people still say things like “oh great she’s crazy” or “what a nutter”. It’s sad when they roll their eyes when you mention anything about mental health, they sigh when you speak about depression or bipolar. It’s sad isn’t it?
I wonder if they would still act this way if they knew. If they knew I had PND and anxiety. If they knew I had to be admitted to a mother and baby unit for 9 weeks. I wonder?
I wish I could say, but I don’t want them to feel awkward, I don’t want them to feel embarrassed. But why said it? Why moan? Why act like it’s a problem?
We don’t do this when somebody says “they have had pneumonia” or “had a cold” or “had surgery”, why is it different?
It’s sad and it makes me feel sad. But PND and anxiety isn’t me. It’s been a part of my life but it’s not who I am. I’m not ashamed. But I don’t like to talk about it to anyone and everyone all the time.
Sometimes it’s not appropriate to bring it up. Sometimes I don’t want that person to know at that moment. Just because I don’t want to share it with them. But it is sad. With the “crazy, nutter, lunatic” I always feel a pain in my stomach, like they’ve punched me right there. Because that’s me. They are talking about me too. I do feel ashamed that I don’t always question what people say or how they act. Then I do feel shame. Because I know I should say something. But sometimes I don’t have the energy. Sometimes I don’t feel like fighting. Sometimes the comments and the punch make me feel too sad to say anything. We have still have a very long way to go. .
✨#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #bekind
