So here I am. My back hurts from carrying my Little A everywhere. Maybe I need to start doing more exercise, more stretching, yoga, to help my body. My bloated belly, maybe I need to lay off the white bread now. Start to eat better, like I used too. Start to put more time into my meals, snacks, not just food for my little man. It’s time, I’m going to do it, I’ve already started and I’m sticking to it.
I think my skin will benefit. My tummy will hopefully benefit. I might be able to get back some of my stomach muscles. It might help my mood (always a massive plus for me). My time has come to start thinking about me a little bit. In order to look after my mini dude, in order to have the most energy. Exercise is good. I like exercise. I like good, nice food.
I’ve sort of forgotten that. I’ve sort of forgotten me. Who I was before. The healthy (ish) me. I’m still healthy (ish) but I could be healthier. I could put more effort in. For myself. And for Arthur. It’s weird isn’t it? When you have a baby you think, what did I do before? What did I have for lunch before? Did I really look like that pre baby? How didn’t I see I was healthy? I thought my belly was big! Well, it is now…
It’s weird. They become your whole life and then you forget what your life was before. I’m staying away from the scales and instead going to focus on what I see in front of me. And how I feel. I’m hoping I’ll feel less tired, that my skin will improve, I’ll bloat less and just feel generally better. Of course it’s a process, of course sometimes I know me, and I know sometimes I’m going to just say “sod that, where’s the chocolate?”. But it’s gotten to the point now where I’m ready for change, I’m ready to feel better.
Something I know that’s important too is maintaining good mental health. Soon I’m going back to work, and I’ll soon be reducing my antidepressants. I’m scared. I’m scared about the change, I’m scared about how anxious I already feel. But no matter how many times I think “eurgh I really don’t want to go outside today, I don’t want to do any exercise” as soon as I do, my mood feels better. Just taking a walk and taking deep breaths; it really helps me.
My favourite place is walking along the beach or in the countryside. Plus it’s free, so that’s always a bonus. I’ve said this before but I don’t want to go back. I don’t think I’m ever going to be 8 and half stone, flat stomach pre pregnancy me. But I don’t want to go back. I just want to be me now. But a healthier version of me. I want to live a long live so I can be like Beverley Goldberg and try and get hugies from Arthur for a very very long time.
So here I am, here I go. Stay tuned for another one guys.
Love, Kate. X
P.s here’s me after just completing my first “run” from couch to 5k…