So I guess the world is a bit backwards.

So here I am. After I began telling my story I started to receive so many messages from other people telling me about their journey. I feel like in some ways I was very lucky with my story. I got the help I needed quickly, I still receive support now and almost every single person I met has wanted to help me and been kind to me. However I know that this is not everybody’s experience. People have spoken to me and explained how they were too afraid to speak out, how they were worried that nobody would understand, that there was no point in receiving help because it wouldn’t make any difference. This makes me feel so sad. This is 2018. Why are we still living in a world where people are too afraid to explain how they feel? Too afraid to ask for help because they don’t think they will receive it.

It does not make sense that this is still happening. It doesn’t make sense that you can only be in crisis Monday to Friday 9-5. What about at 3 in the morning on a Sunday when you can’t sleep, your crying because your thinking about taking a knife from the kitchen and hurting yourself? It doesn’t make sense. I have heard many people have bad experiences. People who have had a 3 minute phone call when they have reached out because they are attempting to take their life. People who have been told by their GP that they have received all the help they can have and there is nothing more that can be done for them. Right because when you have mental health illness it’s usually for a really short time, your fixed in no time and you never need anymore support…erm…yeah, no it’s not like that at all.

I’m writing this post to say no matter how many times you feel like nobody wants to help you, or they will judge you or you don’t deserve help, YOU DO. There will always be professionals who will go above and beyond to help you. I know this because I’ve seen it, I have experienced it. I know it is easy for me to say because I had a positive experience but please don’t give up on yourself. When I first become unwell when I walked into A&E and the receptionist asked me what’s the problem today, I looked at her and said – I want to kill myself. I then went into A&E and assured them I could not go home, if I did I would kill myself. They didn’t let me go. I was there for 24 hours, you are only suppose to be in A&E for 4 hours, unless of course somebody is to unwell to be transferred. The point is, I was terrified but I was adamant that I needed help. That help saved my life. Please know their will be somebody out there who will help save your life. Whether it’s a whole team or one individual, reach out. Call your GP, call the out of hours GP. Speak to charities like Mind or Samaritans. Speak to your health visitor, your midwife, the community mental health team and if you are in immediate danger, go to A&E. It is an emergency and you are NOT wasting anybody’s time.

Remember if you feel unsafe, tell someone, anyone. You will get help. Go somewhere where you won’t be alone, be with family or friends.

Times are changing, but we still have a long way too go. I know if I help one person in the world I will have achieved something good. Stay tuned peeps.

Love, Kate x

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